Mind fart #14

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

So which is your pick?

NIKE CONDOMS: Just do it

TOYOTA CONDOMS: Oh what a feeling

DIET PEPSI CONDOMS: You got the right one baby

PRINGLES CONDOMS: Once you pop, you can't stop

MENTOS CONDOMS: The freshmaker

FLINSTONES VITAMINS CONDOM PACK: Ten million strong and growing

SECRET CONDOMS: Strong enough for a man, but ph balanced for a woman

MACINTOSH CONDOM: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple

FORD CONDOMS: The best never rest

CHEVY CONDOMS: Like a rock

DIAL CONDOMS: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?

NEW YORK LOTTO CONDOMS: Cause hey- you never know

CALIFORNIA LOTTO CONDOMS: Who's next

AVIS CONDOMS: Trying harder than ever

KFC CONDOMS: finger lickin' good

COCA COLA CONDOMS: Always the real thing

CAMPBELL'S SOUP CONDOMS: Mmm,mmm good

GENERAL ELECTRIC CONDOMS: We bring good things to life!

AT&T CONDOMS: Reach out and touch someone

BOUNTY CONDOMS: The quicker picker upper

MICROSOFT CONDOMS: Where do you want to go today?

ENERGIZER CONDOMS: It keeps going and going and going...

M&M CONDOMS: It melts in your mouth not in your hands!

TACO BELL CONDOMS: Get some, make a run for the border

MCI CONDOMS: For friends and family

Sunday Stealing: The Monkey's Meme

1. Name one person who made you smile today:
Cookie Monster

2. What were you doing at 8am this morning?

Riding along side the beautiful man of my dreams, in my dreams

3. What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Making love in my sleep. duh!

4. What is your favorite candy bar?

Is Hershey's Kisses Candy? if not then that is the only candy for me.

5. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Never and Ever.

6. What was the last thing you had to drink?
Chinese Herbal Tea.

7. What was the last thing you ate?
Mashed potatoes.

8. The last sporting event you watched?
Euro Cup 2008.

9. Do you go to church every Sunday?
Not Applicable.

10. Do you prefer Chinese food over pizza?
Any time of the day, any time of the month!

11. What are you doing tomorrow?
Back to work, Monday Mourning!

12. What do you think of when you hear Australia?
The overflowing Good Looks and Charms [HUGH JACKMAN]

13. Biggest annoyance right now?
Cannot get a decent guy with some looks and some brains!

14. Last song listened to?
Its Not My Time- 3 Doors Down

15. Do you have a maid service clean your house?
Yes. She is expected in an hour.

16. Are you jealous of anyone?

I am. I am. Of all those who write beautifully and all those who are part of an ever after ALREADY.

17. Is anyone jealous of you?

They wouldn't tell me now would they?

18. What do you usually do during the day?

A Sunday is exceptionally for my peace of mind and I stay within the bounds of my room.

19. Do you hate anyone that you know right now?
Yes I do. And I think it is maybe because I am jealous :(

20. Are you thinking about someone right now?
How did you know?
I am thinking about that wonderful man about whom I always think about.

Mind fart #13

Don't dare be too open-minded, chances are your brains will fall out!

why?

What happens in an OPEN MIND SURGERY?

Saturday 9: Uninvited

for Saturday 9

1. Do you mind people to show up uninvited?

And. depends if it is someone whose company I seek or just a random brain eater!

2. Last person you talked to on the phone?

I think it was my Boss, asked him if he wanted to have the cake I baked.

3. Last person on your missed call list?

My Boss, I wonder why though!

4. Who calls you the most?

my best friend Amy!

5. What is your favorite song about breaking up?

I Don't Thnk I Love You by Hoobastank

6. If someone sent you an unexpected gift, what would you like it to be?

Flowersssssssssssss!!! or maybe a perfume :D haeeeeeeeeeeeeey!

7. Your classic rock station plays the top songs of all time. What is number one?

Gotta Be Somebody by Nickelback

8. Do you live for today or tomorrow?

Tomorrow. I can't help what happens today, definitely can help what I make of tomorrow.

9. What movie villain scared you as a kid?

Norman Bates- Psycho

Filling in Friday

And...here we go!

1. It's cold and OOH I AM SO HOT!

2. RED, JUICY, SUMPTUOUS tomatoes.

3. My favorite health and beauty product is CLINIQUE.

4. CRAVING FOR A PARTNER WHO COULD TAKE ME a nice long ride.

5. Well, first of all I AM NOT AS RETARDED AS YOU THINK I AM.

6. ATTENTION; those were the cast of characters in a recent dream and it was FULL OF CRAP.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to TWITTERING, tomorrow my plans include SATURDAY MEMEs and Sunday, I want to SLEEP IT OFF!

Thursday 13: sides of me

Ever imagined one human and 13 different sides to him / her?

As impossible it gets you to imagine, I would never have worked around analyzing it, if it were not to the ‘Thursday 13’ prompt. Thank you whosoever came up with this brilliance!

The Bright Side:

Can go out of my way not to hurt another person’s feelings.

The Right Side:

Alert, always fair-minded, I put myself in the position of the other person to be in a position to know, understand and help. Against injustice completely, if you cheat me, never speak to me again!

The Dark Side:

You call for my insincerity when and if I find you lagging behind in your sincerity with me. Sorry but there are no warnings.

The Wrong Side:

In a serious argument, I could give in rather easily even when I know I am right. Arguing, even about something I believe in, is too unsettling for my taste most of the time.

The Fair Side:

I find facing the truth an ordeal and prefer living in a world of make-believe.

The Friendly Side:

I instinctively look upon everything in life as an art, and while I do not throw myself into friendship with the passion put into love, I treat the relationship with the reserve and dignity that my natural penchant for partnerships suggests.

The Partnership Side:

I can adapt myself to any personality and bring out the best in the other fellow. I will never fall down on my own share of the work, and can be trusted implicitly to give an honest account of myself.

The Woman Side:

Ideal as wife material, not good with being girl friend, I don’t know the works of being half here and half there. My passion-al response to married life is extremely satisfying which makes me the best candidate for a wife.

The Child Side:

Since the time I recall, hurrying something up and having to choose to between two things has never been good for me. I was always told that I seem older than my age and unexpectedly knowledgeable. I have thrived when treated fairly and obeyed rules that are seen to be fair, if not, then …

The Disappointed Side:

I can take things on a whole new level when it doesn’t work my way. I have a way to talk to myself and to God, but as faith sets in a little later than the rest, I am irritant and totally out of focus when a disappointment is cast on me. Everything around me gets affected.

The Romantic Side:

Romance flows in place of blood in me. I know that I might eventually suffocate my better half with always tying to work around with being not worked up but then what good is a life without romance? I can see candles and satin sheets and a lot of lace, it just cannot be replaced.

The Slight Perfectionist Side:

It takes a great deal to make me perceive things in a way that actually seem perfect, but just to me and my sanity. I believe in having my own sense of contentment and perfection and it necessarily isn’t stated in any book of knowledge. E.g. I believe that for myself to be happy and perfect presentable, I need my needs to be truly satisfied, I can’t ignore that I have a need for love, it may sound unreal but it isn’t.

The Planning Idealist Side:

Yes all things are beautiful for the way I see it. No happily ever after comes in a parcel, it has to be worked upon and hence created. I believe what I dream is true and achievable, and maybe the man I marry has an image in my head and God willing and with my luck I will get him, there is no NO for this, even if people tell me so.

3 Words Only

Dreary in the midst of the chaos within
Embrace me my love let my surrender begin
Timid I will be once your body takes me for a spin

for 3 word wednesday

Mind Fart #12

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Monday Flash!

Falling in love...
is simultaneously followed in by rising in love.

Laughing so hard your face hurts...
leaves you with no thoughts and no regrets.

A hot shower...
sucks without him.

No lines at the supermarket...
means the market is not doing too super.

A special glance...
comes my way when I am least expecting it.

Getting mail...
is always ticklish.

Taking a drive on a pretty road...
is non-existent. There will be bumps and humps.

Hearing your favorite song on the radio...
means there is someone out there who is going through similar feelings.

Lying in bed listening to the rain outside...
kicks me with nostalgia and it is pleasurable.

Hot towels fresh out of the dryer...
feel so fuzzy and fluffy.

Finding the sweater you want is on sale for half price...
makes me yell 'WHY CAN'T I HAVE HIM FOR HALF PRICE'

Strawberry milkshake...
anyday, anytime, on him, with him, in him.

A long distance phone call...
makes up for half of the day's regrets.

A bubble bath...
For two please!

Giggling...
and tickling, the thought of us together.

A good conversation...
is not really happening.

The beach...
calls for a romantic wedding.

Finding money in your coat from last winter...
is a gift from your favorite Angel.

Laughing at yourself...
is better than laughing at others.

Midnight phone calls that last for hours...
are truly unforgettable.

Laughing for absolutely no reason at all...
means you don't understand my reason.

Having someone tell you that you’re beautiful...
is worthless unless it comes from someone you can believe in.

Friends...
the miracle which happens to you when you turn back and wanna run and hug.

Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you...
is expected.

Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep...
makes me pull back my sheets and rest in peace.

First kiss...
was a dare he won and I lost.

Making new friends...
is rare in the world of commotion.

Hanging out with old friends...
is a nice walk down memory lane.

Having someone play with my hair...
is a compliment in itself.

Sweet dreams...
come to me when I think nothing but hope.

Hot chocolate...
is my favorite drink to get me high.

Making eye contact with a cute stranger...
has been easy always.

Holding hands with someone you care about...
will always be special.

Watching the sunrise...
is always an episode each one of us craves to live through.

Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day...
is rare with people and their busy-ness

Mind Fart #11

All trespassers will be shot on sight. All survivors will then be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.Have a nice day!

Sunday Stealing: The A to Z Meme

A
• Are you available? Yup
• What is your age? 26
• What annoys you? drastic weather changes

B
• Do you know anyone named Billy? Nopes
• When is your birthday? October 6
• Who is your best friend? My Conscience

C
• What's your favorite candy? No Candy Hershey's Kisses
• Crush? My Boss
• When was the last time you cried? A Night Ago

D
• Do you daydream?: Haha Always
• What's your favorite kind of dog? Alsatian
• What day of the week is it? duh! Sunday!

E
• How do you like your eggs? boiled
• Have you ever been in the emergency room? yes once
• Ever pet an elephant? never!

F
• Do you use fly swatters? do newspapers count?
• Have you ever used a foghorn? nope
• Is there a fan in your room? yes

G
• Do you chew gum? that is my favorite pass time
• Do you like gummy candies? yes yes... chewy is good!
• Do you like gory movies? hell no!

H
• How are you? Well Well, it is a bright sunny day!
• What's your height? 5'4''
• What color is your hair? Dark Brown

I
• What's your favorite ice cream? Walls Cornetto
• Have you ever ice skated? No
• Ever been in an igloo? No

J
• What's your favorite Jelly Bean? Red one
• Have you ever heard a really hilarious joke? Yes lol who hasnt
• Do you wear jewelry? Yes, ring, earrings, pendant and sometimes a bangle

K
• Who do you want to kill? Sami [my ex best friend grr]
• Have you ever flown a kite? yes
• Do you think kangaroos are cute? with the babies in their pouches

L
• Are you laidback? No
• Lions or Tigers? Lions
• Do you like black licorice? Ah No!

M
• Favorite movie as a kid? Honey I Shrunk the Kids
• Ever shopped at Moosejaw? No
• Favorite store at the mall? Next


N
• Do you have a nickname? I do! I do! AD!
• Whats your favorite number? 1 is psychologically WOW
• Do you prefer night or day? Night is sexy

O
• What's your one wish? To get Married and start and ever after ASAP
• Are you an only child? No 3 others
• Do you like the color orange? Yes it suits my skin color

P
• What are you most paranoid about? Aging
• Piercings? Only my ears
• Do you know anyone named Penelope? You mean Penelope Pitstop?

Q
• Are you quick to judge people? I take a couple of days
• Do you like Quaker Oats? YESSSSSSSSS
• Know anyone that makes quilts? No :(
• Do you think you're always right? Not always
• Do you watch reality TV? Hardly anymore
• Reason to cry? The chemical imbalances in body

S
• Do you prefer sun or rain? RAINNNNNNNNN
• Do you like snow? YES but have to see and feel it TO DATE
• What's your favorite season? Autumn and Winter

T
• time is it? 10:48 a.m.
• What time did you wake up? 10:00 a.m.

U
• Can you ride a unicycle? NOPE
• Do you know anyone with a unibrow? lol No
• Uncles do you have? 2 maternal and 2 paternal

V
• What’s the worst vegetable? I love vegetables
• Did you ever watch Veggie Tales? No
• Ever considered being vegan? Nope

W
• What's your worst habit? not being able to stick to exercise routine
• Do you like water rides? sounds fun
• Ever been inside a windmill? no

X
• Have you ever had an x-ray? Yes
• Ever used a Xerox machine? Yes

Y
• Do you like the color yellow? Yes
• What year were you born in?: 1982
• Do you yell when you're angry? Nope

Z
• Do you believe in the zodiac? When it has actually happened
• What's your zodiac sign? Libra
• When was the last time you went to the zoo? When I was 21 years old

Mind Fart #10

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.

Saturday 9: Hot Fun in the Summertime

prompt by Saturday 9

1. Is summer your favorite season? Why?

YUKH! I hate summers. It is icky and sweaty! NO NO SUMMERS!

2. Do you exercise more in the summer because you wear less clothing?

NO. I intend to SWIM more that way I get to cool off more!

3. Do you enjoy tanning or are you more concerned about the dangers of basking in the sun?

Never have I tanned, Never will I tan!

4. You are on the beach when a waiter appears for your drink order. What do you ask for?

Blueberry Frozen Lemonade aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

5. Do you camp in the summertime?

Nopes. It isn’t my thing to sweat and camp!

6. What was your favorite summer vacation as a kid?

I think our frequent trips to the beach.

7. Do you enjoy sleeping outdoors?

I do but don’t do. I like my air conditioning.

8. Do you throw a summer barbecue every year?

Not necessarily. I like to be by the grill when it is cold.

9. Have you ever been to a nude beach? If yes, what did you think?

No. I don’t like to see too much of unnecessary skin show. Puke!

p.s. summer is never fun!

Mind Fart #9

I grow more intense as I age.

Mind Fart #8

Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.

Mind Fart #7

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Mind Fart #6

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Fartily Cute

I love this dude!
If only I could find me a witty cat like him ;)

Wise Ass

Don't we love the man we exchange vows with to stand up and be possessive about us :P

Unless of course he shows too much wise-ness!

LOL

Mind Fart #5

A plan is a list of things that don't happen!

29'er meme

prompt by Sunday Stealing!

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?

Useless Tax Bills!

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?

At this Mexican place just before the divorce!

3. How many colleges did you attend?

Only ONE!

4. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?

It is loose and comfortable and obviously fit for a good night's sleep!

5. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?

It went off as usual in my head and I got up to pray!

6. Last thought before going to sleep last night?

Why my sister does the junk she does!

7. What do you miss being a child?

Innocence!

8. What errand/chore do you despise?

Cooking!

9. Have you found real love yet?

There is no real or fake love, love is just love! So no comments!

10. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?

Body Wash!

11. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?

Are you kidding? No matter how out-dated, it is always IN! like being Weird is the new BLACK :P

12. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?

Can I have it with myself? It has been a long time I met me in person.

13. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?

Nope.

14. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?

American Canyon maybe.

15. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?

A New Relationship!

16. Do you have a “go to” person?

Not that I can recall.

17. Are you where you want to be in life?

Not exactly in terms of personal life, but yes a little in my professional life.

18. Over the years, what about you do you think has changed the most?

My temperament and body mass

19. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?

Definitely. No second thoughts about that.

20. Are there times you still feel like a kid?

Lol. Yes when I want to have something I can't get.

21. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?

No place, just home and school.

22. Who do you think impacted your life the most?

My ex-best friend.

23. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?

Don't recall.

24. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age”?

Yes sometimes when my sisters get weird over the new IN THING.

25. What is the scariest thing that has happened to you as an adult?

Divorce.

26. What advice would you give to someone about to get married?

Fall in love and the rest will be smooth.

27. What advice would you give someone starting their first job?

Give it your best starting first day and you'll be noticed forever.

28. If you could go back and change one thing you did, what would it be?
Not taken that vacation with my ex-best friend.

29. If you could go back and change one thing someone else did, what would it be?

Not have my ex best friend make a stupid fool out of my feelings.

Mind Fart #4

Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.

Mind Fart #3

Some people drink from the fountain of knowledge, others just gurgle!

Mind Fart #2

You're only young once; you can be fucking immature forever.

Mind Fart #1

Two wrongs are only the beginning.